Ever since I could remember, whenever we went out, we would hold hands as soon as we got out of the car – even if it was to buy vegetables at the market.
I can’t remember exactly when, but I would say around September 2014 that she began to reject my hand. And it got worse as the days went by.
Suddenly looking at me or giving me a hug became a problem as well. She started to look at me with disgust, and told me she wished I was dead.
That pierced right through me of how cold hearted she became. Without any concrete evidence of what was going on in her life, I wasn’t able to understand why she treated me that way.
I began to self-doubt myself. My self-esteem deteriorated.
When I tried to dance with her one Saturday morning as the music was playing at home, and tried to hug her, she smiled and pushed me away.
It was meant to be a rejection but with a smile hoping that I didn’t feel it, but I did.
Then the music on our iPod dock shuffled to the next song. She began dancing wildly and smiling and laughing and pointing her finger towards me and winked.
The song was “Another man” by Itch.
It’s funny how all these signs seem to make so much sense months later.